Final Thoughts: What I Learned About Myself and Photography

As an art major, I have a passion for learning as much about each studio art medium as I possibly can. Digital arts and media have always been a source of anxiety for me though. Sure, I'm a 21st century teen, but that doesn't mean that I'm wrapped up in my phone, 'on top' of meme culture, or know how to use technology at all!

I have a lot of film photographer friends who talk film banter with one another all the time, I usually just tune out. Secretly I wanted to be a part of the conversation, wanted to learn. And entering the semester, I had a lot of questions. 

First about the manual settings of the camera, and secondly about the editing aspect of the course. 

I learned a TON about manual settings from our discussions, outdoor adventures, and personal trial and error, but editing was always a struggle for me. First, the hours collided with my prior commitments, which made getting to the studio hard. Second, I was LOST on what each feature on Lightroom's 'Develop' module does. Lastly, I had to decide whether I wanted to be a purist, or an editor.

Coming into the semester I was a total purist: take the photo, print the photo. No posing, moving of objects, editing, etc; but after seeing how my classmates manipulated the colors and tones of an image to pull/extended a mood via editing, I got curious. I began to edit first on my portraiture project; I didn't quite understand how to use vibrancy and color balance and my prints suffered heavily because of this. Afterwards, I left my prints 'untouched', but made sure to carve out some time in the lab to fiddle around in Lightroom. Once I began to understand the differences between highlights and whites, and hues vs. saturation vs. luminance, my prints got better. I now feel exceedingly confident in my ability to print high-quality images. Of course, there's always room for improvement and I'll be continuing to work on this skill as time goes by, but it's nice to feel secure in my current abilities.

I had no idea that this class was as much about print quality as it is about digital quality. I learned SO much about manipulation, editing, and color qualities; things which affect the digital and print qualities of an image, but things which I had majorly overlooked at the beginning of the semester. Had I known how much I could do in post-production, I might not have been so stressed about getting the 'perfect image' while shooting. Regardless, after completing my final project I felt very satisfied with my ability to 1. Manually manipulate my photos 'on site' via aperture and shutter speed, and 2. Manipulate my photos in 'post production'.

I also learned a lot about myself. I had no idea that I was so shy -- maybe a better term is self-conscious. When taking photos in public I felt like I was making a scene constantly, becoming the direction of attention in the eyes of a bunch of strangers was not something I enjoyed. It caused me a lot of nervousness, which in turn made me take photos very quickly, and not think about why I was taking them, or what I wanted to convey. Although strangers and I are entitled the same rights to inhabit a space I felt like my activities within that space were more distracting to others, and therefore less welcomed. Rationally, I know that isn't the case; when I see someone with a camera on the street or at a show, I don't glare or imply that their presence is infringing on my ability to enjoy a moment. Somehow when I am behind the camera, I assume that I'm annoying those around me, and making it harder for them to live within their own moment. This mindset is something I am actively trying to suppress, as it impedes me from going out into the world with a camera, and experimenting as a photographer.

On a lighter note; I learned that I am crazy about lighting effects! I'll be experimenting with this as time progresses for sure. I love taking pictures of inanimate objects, but I also learned that I'm really interested in the idea of voyeurism, and being 'unseen' within public. I want to experiment with this more.

All in all, this class inspired me, challenged me, and made me a better photographer/printer. I've found many inspirations in the field, and as I'm looking towards choosing a concentration within the BA/BFA program I will look back at this semester very fondly. Photography has given me the urge to visit places I normally wouldn't, and do things which I'm too afraid to in my regular life. It helps me get outside when I'm feeling down, and reminds me to take in every moment with more detail when I don't have my camera on me. I know I will continue to take photos, edit them, post them... who knows, maybe I'll come back for a few more classes too (-: